lost love

The sound of your voice brings me comfort I never knew existed. We barely see each other and we only get to hang out after months or years of not seeing each other. But we talk. We talk about so many things; our problems, the universe, celebrities, politics, songs—almost… just almost about everything.

I fell in love with the way you see the world.
Your eyes hold so much more than what people can see when they look at you.
Your voice—it’s soothing that it can utter words so kind the entirety of human existence can come clean from all the bullshits it has.
Your hair, disarrayed after you’ve lain in your bed for most of the time looks so good that I badly wanted to run my fingers on it again and again.
Your lips that hang slightly open as you listen to what I say make me want to nibble it so bad.

I fell in love with the way people treat you like someone so strong yet so soft.
Your words can go harsh for as long as you want but your heart shines through it the moment we talk about all the things you love.
Your breath that smells mint and smoke got me intoxicated and nearly drowning.
Your hands—rough and soft, ran through mine nonchalantly that it sent shivers down to my spine and you weren’t aware of the effect you have on me. Continue reading

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Too Much of A Woman

If you ever feel like she’s too much of a woman;
that she’s more of a nagger than a lover
that she’s too fast for you to chase
or too high for you to reach
then you sure don’t deserve
a woman as great as her.
It’s not that she’s too much of a woman for you
It’s that you’re too weak of a man for her.

Four Seasons – A poem

I was waiting for you
Until the sun shone,
The people flocked on the beach,
And my hopes were all dried up

I was waiting for you
Until the drizzle came,
Turned into a hurricane,
Wiped all my tears away

I was waiting for you
Until the leaves fell,
The ground brown and well,
But I was alone and much couldn’t tell

I was waiting for you
Until the first snow fell
Christmas carols were everywhere
Yet my hands were cold with my heart freezing with sadness

I was done waiting for you
Then all of a sudden
You were there

Five Years Later, 1826 Days After

in that same coffee shop

that witnessed what could have been,

what should have been;

came the day they sat across each other

feeling the strong nostalgia,

killing the dreams they both made

when they finally decided to go separate ways.

she was looking through his eyes

trying to remember what it looked like

when it was still wearing the spark they both shared.

he held her gaze

trying so hard to swallow the fact

that he lost the only one that truly matters.

and they both wander in each other’s mind

asking the same questions they have last time they were there,

‘what happened to us?’

five years later, they met up

and she finally spoke her mind

“we’ve grown apart.”

it also took him 1826 days to finally say the words

“yes, because I screwed up.”

he saw remorse in his eyes

she wanted to ease him

except that she won’t

she won’t come running back to him anymore

because five years later, she learned how to love herself

more than she loves him;

because 1,826 days after

she realized she was doing a lot better without him.

five years later, 1,826 days after…

He realized he lost the love of his life.

Next To You

Hundreds and thousands of things had been in my mind throughout the day. You called and told me to come to your house because you wanted to see me and spend some time with me. There, we talked about the most mundane things to the most important ones. I haven’t felt the weariness that I have felt before coming to you. The day ended too fast meaning I have to go home, but you didn’t let me. You told me to stay and sleep there instead. I said yes, too tired to argue.

I rested on your bed after fixing myself, stared at your plain white ceiling trying to answer questions that had been running in my head – why did I come here with just one phone call? Why am I too tired to go home? The questions I keep asking myself are leading me to the highest heights of denial.


I miss you, yet can’t bring myself to admit it.


How many times did I wish to lay down with someone I love? How many times did I daydream about staying up until four in the morning talking about things? How many times did I ask myself the same questions over and over again?

You lied down beside me and stared at your ceiling too. We talked and talked until you finally fell asleep, faster than what I imagined. I stared at your face – your lashes, your brows, your lips. Everything about you is mesmerizing and I can’t help but smile at myself.

I turned my back from you, trying to keep my feelings to myself. I can’t seem to be sleepy even after a tiring day because my body is fully aware that you are lying beside me. Then you wrapped your arms around me. I closed my eyes trying to savor the moment for I know it won’t last long. You were asleep and you didn’t know what you were doing. I was awake and I know exactly what I’m feeling. Continue reading