Books, Photography, poem, Relationship, Romance, Teens, Writings

Five Years Later, 1826 Days After

in that same coffee shop

that witnessed what could have been,

what should have been;

came the day they sat across each other

feeling the strong nostalgia,

killing the dreams they both made

when they finally decided to go separate ways.

she was looking through his eyes

trying to remember what it looked like

when it was still wearing the spark they both shared.

he held her gaze

trying so hard to swallow the fact

that he lost the only one that truly matters.

and they both wander in each other’s mind

asking the same questions they have last time they were there,

‘what happened to us?’

five years later, they met up

and she finally spoke her mind

“we’ve grown apart.”

it also took him 1826 days to finally say the words

“yes, because I screwed up.”

he saw remorse in his eyes

she wanted to ease him

except that she won’t

she won’t come running back to him anymore

because five years later, she learned how to love herself

more than she loves him;

because 1,826 days after

she realized she was doing a lot better without him.

five years later, 1,826 days after…

He realized he lost the love of his life.

poem, Relationship, Romance, Teens, Writings

Next To You

Hundreds and thousands of things had been in my mind throughout the day. You called and told me to come to your house because you wanted to see me and spend some time with me. There, we talked about the most mundane things to the most important ones. I haven’t felt the weariness that I have felt before coming to you. The day ended too fast meaning I have to go home, but you didn’t let me. You told me to stay and sleep there instead. I said yes, too tired to argue.

I rested on your bed after fixing myself, stared at your plain white ceiling trying to answer questions that had been running in my head – why did I come here with just one phone call? Why am I too tired to go home? The questions I keep asking myself are leading me to the highest heights of denial.


I miss you, yet can’t bring myself to admit it.


How many times did I wish to lay down with someone I love? How many times did I daydream about staying up until four in the morning talking about things? How many times did I ask myself the same questions over and over again?

You lied down beside me and stared at your ceiling too. We talked and talked until you finally fell asleep, faster than what I imagined. I stared at your face – your lashes, your brows, your lips. Everything about you is mesmerizing and I can’t help but smile at myself.

I turned my back from you, trying to keep my feelings to myself. I can’t seem to be sleepy even after a tiring day because my body is fully aware that you are lying beside me. Then you wrapped your arms around me. I closed my eyes trying to savor the moment for I know it won’t last long. You were asleep and you didn’t know what you were doing. I was awake and I know exactly what I’m feeling. Continue reading “Next To You”

Books, Entertainment, Family, friendship, Relationship, Romance, Teens, Travel, Writings

The Last Memory 1

chapter.jpg

I pull up my blanket from half of my body up to my neck. Some rays of the sun peek through the small gaps of the blinds I installed when I moved into the apartment, warm on my face helping my body adjust to the cold temperature in my room. Last night, I conclude today to be my rest day and I know there is no stopping me. I savour the moment I have with my bed and my warm blanket than turns even cozier in the morning. I feel my throat burn from thirstiness, and then I remember how lazy I am last night, neglecting the need of my body for water. Right now, I can settle to the fact that I am a lazy-ass girl who can’t leave her bed for her own benefit. Well, blame my bed… and pillows… and blanket… and the weather itself. I wonder how possibly it could be that my bed is a lot more comfortable in the morning than it already is. I am just so grateful that it’s my rest day today.

I stare blankly at the plain white ceiling I re-painted weeks ago. I can’t deny the fact that I am badly missing my room back home—painted in pastel blue color, with my painting materials carefully arranged on the cabinet beside the window, Kara on the bunk bed going through the stack of books I have. I miss everything back home, but I have to deal with the choices I made. My doorbell ring for three times and I hesitate for a moment if I should stand up and get the door, or just ignore it away, but in the end, I shrug the laziness away, wrap the robe around my body and head for the door.

“Good day, Isabelle.” It is kind of appalling for me to see Mrs. Bloomberg behind the door holding up a tray with pancakes on it. Mrs. Bloomberg—a woman in her fifties—is my neighbour across our apartment who, by rumours, I learn that she is living alone for almost five years already.

I widen the door opening upon recognizing her face. “Hey, Mrs. Bloomberg, what can I do for you?” I ask flashing her a bright smile. Continue reading “The Last Memory 1”

Books, Family, friendship, Lifestyle, Relationship, Teens, Writings

Worth

Dear self,

Today is not yet the time to give up on life. Just hold on a little tighter because there’s an earthquake that kind of shook your soul, but don’t give up just yet. You’ve seen better days and you know how it all look so bright, right? If you give up now, you won’t be able to see a whole new level of brightness that will soon come into your life. You don’t want to miss that, do you?

Go ahead and cry your heart out, until your eyes are all puffy from crying all night long. Yes, weep all you want. Go and cynically look at your life. But never ever forget your reason why you’ve come this far in life. It hurts. Pain supposed to hurt, right? I know you can get through this. I know you would understand. I know you can heal your own wounded heart. It may hurt you even more because the pain came from the least person you expect it to give, but then look at you, knowing all the reasons to push through with life after all the hardships that could crash your whole being.

You got hurt by words uttered, and I know how you are scarred forever, for the rest of your life. You did the right choice of staying silent and letting yourself just hear out the most painful words thrown at you instead of spitting some baneful words that could hurt them like how it was hurting you. You don’t want her to feel the same feeling you felt, right? It was bad. I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for my side but sometimes keeping silent can do so much more than bickering. You are strong, for once let’s claim it. You have to be strong. You know well enough that no one else would be there for you, except yourself.

I  don’t know why your mother could never give any appreciation on anything you do but never forget to believe in yourself. Please yourself, not others. Better your best. People would come to appreciate you even though that one person could never. And that’s fine. Othed people could love what you do, and appreciate what you love. I know that even though it’s only one person, she means a lot to you, but we all have to live in reality. We cannot make people understand us the way we need to be understood. So you have to gove credits to yourself too.

Love and believe in yourself. That way no one can change your worth. You’ve gone through so much already and I know you can get through this.

image

image

Entertainment, Family, friendship, Movies, Relationship, Romance, Teens

Picture in Motion 01

I usually dread the last day of the week (Friday) because of the long vacant hour I have this second semester. I tried filling it up with another subject but there is no available schedule for me. So I was left with no choice but to suck it up for the whole semester. But today went very well. My best friend, Clarisse, and I reserved a booth last Wednesday on our school’s production booth, where you can watch the available movies they have for free. We didn’t have to go out of the school to spend our four-hour vacant. We decided to watch P.S. I love you (2007), a movie that Gerard Butler, and Hilary Swank starred in, and was directed by Richard LaGravanese.

ps i love you

It’s kind of funny because for two years now, I’ve been wanting to watch that movie and I don’t know why I did not watched it. I think, I viewed its trailer for like, a hundred times already but hadn’t decided to watch it—until today. C keeps on telling me how she already forgot the plot of the movie and she really wants to watch it again, so we did. The problem was, we reserved the booth for an hour and a half without knowing that the movie lasts for 2 hours and 5 minutes. We had to forward some parts in order to finish the whole movie, since the staff kept on reminding us that they will close at twelve noon. Continue reading “Picture in Motion 01”

Books, Family, Music, Relationship, Romance, Teens, Travel

The Star, the Moon, and your Horizon

If only, maybe, I could touch the sky,

Then I’d be a lot closer to the star.

The star I badly wanted to become,

The one everyone wondered how it came all the way to the top,

The one that shines so bright, it hurt your eyes.

But maybe I should’ve wished to be the moon

That everyone admires when it’s full

That illuminates everyone’s lives.

I could be a star

But a star,

Darling, at times we can’t even see it shine

The moon,

It’s always there

When darkness starts to engulf the horizon that holds the most beautiful shade of magenta, orange, and blue

The moon shines from above

Rescuing people from darkness

I want to be the moon in their lives

The one who will always be there

Protect them from obscurity,

take back the beauty of their horizon

and watch them from above

sign

Books, Entertainment, Relationship, Romance, Teens

Beyond the Book Cover 03 | Hello, Goodbye and Everything in Between

I wasn’t able to read this book’s overview so I didn’t have any idea on what to expect. But (as usual) I was taken aback at how deeply I was affected by the events in it. The first book of Jennifer E. Smith that I read was The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, and the setting was just for a day but it turned out very beautiful. I loved the way Jennifer wrote her stories. It was as if I know the characters by heart, it’s as if I’ve lived with them eversince. And this book made me love her even more.

The love story of Clare and Aidan was the most romantic, and heartbreaking ever. I kept on thinking that Clare and Aiden should do this instead, remain together instead of breaking up, daradara; it frustrated me that instead of holding on and trying to work out their relationship they chose to break it off but I remembered how I did the same exact thing when I was in the same situation. But the one thing that this book would always be in my heart, is that when things are supposed to happen, no matter how long it takes and no matter how hard it is to attain, it will happen. Maybe things fall apart so things could fall into place.

So these are some of the excerpt from a beautiful book.


“To fit two whole years into one final evening; to dump all the pieces out of the box and then put them back together again in the right order so that they can see the whole thing spread out before them.”

“The problem wasn’t that they didn’t match; it was that they matched almost too well. They were both loud and funny, fearless and loyal, completely and utterly magnetic. It’s just that they’d spent the better part of their lives repelling each other.”

“‘Because we agreed that we have to live our own lives,’ he says a little sadly. ‘And I get that. I do. But it doesn’t mean we can’t still be together.”

“Because love wasn’t something you could take back. It was like a magic spell: Once you said the words, they were simply out there, shifting and changing everything.”

“…whether what they say is true: that second love is the best kind.”

“But either way, something about this has made her overly cautious when it comes to love. There’s too much uncertainty, too many chances to make mistakes.”

“It’s true that the world is full of signs. They just mean different things to different people.”

“They’re like two trees whose branches have grown together. Even if you pull them out by the trunks, they’re still going t be twisted and tangled and nearly impossible to separate at the roots.”

“Sometimes the hardest things are the ones most worth doing.”

“I love you,” (Note: this, you’d figure out why it is worth quoting when you realized that it is in the book when you read it. You’d know why those three words meant so much.)

“That’s what college is for–you’re supposed to try new things even if it means making mistakes. If you stop overthinking everything, maybe you’ll have a little more fun.”

“I mean… how am I ever supposed to stop missing you if you’re only a phone call away?”

“We either grow apart of grow together. But maybe we can just kind of each grow on our own, and see how it goes. And then later, if it’s right, we’ll come back to each other and start again.”

“Later,”

“…three whole months apart, three whole months of silence, was enough to make her dizzy. With his clear blue eyes and the reddish stubble along his jaw, he looked completely different and yet also staggeringly, heartbreakingly familiar.”

“She sits there for a long, for what feels like forever, and then, when she’s finally ready, she removes the note gingerly, using both hands to flatten the page. All it says is this: Is it later yet? and here’s the amazing thing: Now it was.”

“Prologue is always the best part of the story.”


Everything that Clare and Aidan did happened only overnight. They were both awake the whole night trying to remember the things they did at the places they went to. I was blown away, especially in the end: After everything, it’s still him and her.

Oh, love.

Rate: 8/10

sign

Books, Entertainment, Family, Leisure, Lifestyle, Music, Relationship, Romance, Teens, Travel

Pre-Midterm Lazy Post

It has been so long, I know! And I’m sorry for that. My laptop gave up on me and I got too lazy to do another entry. I’ve already missed on so many post now. My recent post was our cover of Meghan Trainor’s Lips Are Movin’ which took no effort at all since I just linked it when I uploaded it from YouTube. I feel so bad not sharing what happened during the first days of January. My entry for Mr. Goalie was made weeks after New Year and it just happened to be what I am thinking (and still am) at the moment. So much has happened already. I’ve read about three books now, and I haven’t written anything for Beyond the Book Cover entry, yet. My aunt threw a house warming party that I was too lazy to put into words (I am a terrible person, right?). And now, my life is stucked, pretty much, on Midterm week, yet again guys!!! So… I am promising to make two entries (agad agad!) after my Midterm Exams. I don’t care what entry I’ll make, but I’m sure as hell to make it worthy to read, may it be BTBC or Rant or whatsoever, basta may maipost!

Beyond the Book Cover target posts (quotes, review, rating, right after Midterms)

  • Between Us and the Moon by Rebecca Maizel (author of Eternal Dawn, Infinite Days, Vampire Queen series, etc.)

20807316

  • Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between by Jennifer E. Smith (author of The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, This is What Happy Looks Like, The Geography of You and Me, etc.)

23369370

  • Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler (author of  The Book of Broken Hearts, Bittersweet, Fixing Delilah, etc.)

5231173

I will try my best to come up with a good review right away, and I will try to make review of the books I’ve read in the past before I even had this blog. I’ll re-read and try to remember my reaction back then and how it felt reading it. There is a long list of books already and I am so excited to share it with you, guys!

For the events, places, and food that I would like to share with all of you, I’ll make sure to find the inspiration and energy to put in effort with that post. I haven’t gone in oh-so-wow-jaw-dropping-places yet this 2016, but I am looking forward! Maybe after this semester, or when I already have my first salary (I am planning to work this vacation since we’ll be having our 3-month vacation, by the way) so I will have enough money to spend on leisure.

Guys, I am so sorry if I left this blog hanging but I swear on heaven and earth that I will be more productive. I will also post my experience with Make Your Own Magnum that was located at SM Mall of Asia. So… til the next post! (I promise it won’t take long.)

sign

 

Entertainment, Lifestyle, Romance, Teens, Uncategorized

Once upon a dream – My Wedding Day

ouad

Every girl has dreamt of what her wedding day would be like, and tonight was that time for me. It’s a usual holiday for everybody else – but not for me. As I lie comfortably on the bed while chatting with my high school friend, I scrolled through my facebook timeline and viewed a wedding video of a schoolmate. I suddenly dream of my own wedding too – a picture perfect wedding day(for me).

And this is how I envisioned it…

Everyone in my family is busy preparing for the wedding. They are wearing their most authentic smiles, watching as each one of them gets their turn on the makeup chair of the makeup artist. Vibrant colours – cyan, magenta, yellow and secondary colours – of their different gowns are hanging to avoid crumpling it. Some are taking pictures while others are having their hair done. My cousins are asking each other, ‘Hindi ba pangit? (Isn’t it ugly?)’, while some are complimenting my aunts. We, my brother, mother and father, are in a white walled hotel suite, taking a few shots with the Photography and Videography team that was hired. I am sitting on the makeup artist’s chair unable to comprehend what I feel as of the moment. I am obliging to what the artist is telling me to do – whether to close my eyes, press my lips, look up, smile, or whatever. My brother is busy with his cell phone and kind of bored, or he’s beside me watching as I fidget under the mixed emotions I am holding. He looks at me in the eyes and asks me what’s making me nervous. Sighing, I slowly smile, tell him I don’t know, and asks what our parents are doing. He points at them, my mother is checking herself out in the mirror while my father’s busy watching me. As I close my eyes, I dreamily think of my groom’s face while looking at me as I step out of the bridal car… and enter the church.

The wedding coordinator signals me and my maid-of-honor to finally step out of the car. I take a deep breath and hold on to the bouquet of black and white roses, a good symbol of how our relationship had gone through the years. The black roses symbolizes that even in the darkest of times, there is still beauty inside, while the white roses symbolizes how pure love led us to where we are in that very moment. It’s finally my turn to walk down the aisle; I am the last, finale, end game. Finally, I am that girl… the one everyone is waiting for to arrive.

Jason Mraz’s song I Won’t Give Up plays and everyone stands up to welcome me – the bride. My mother and father are beside me as I link my arms with them and start walking down the aisle that was designed with different pastel-colour flowers. My eyes welled up with tears as I walk past the people that made my life meaningful. Seeing the same familiar faces that I once laughed, cried, and fought with during the time I haven’t met the man who’s waiting for me at the end of the altar. People who hold a very special place in my heart; the ones who witnessed me fail, and helped me back up. As I near down the altar, bright lights starts to dim in my sight because of the man who’s tearing as I reach him. The man who’s holding on to his mother, whispering how lucky he is that he finally found me. His mother that later on will be my mother too, kisses me and held me in her arms as she thank and entrusts me her son. I unlink my arms from my father and mother and whispers how much I love them and how thankful I am for all the sacrifices they made for me. It’s time for me to fill in the steps they prepared me for. It’s time.


I don’t wish for the grandest wedding to happen to me. I pray that the people who’s dear to me will be there to witness how I will finally be complete. I pray that my family and relatives will be there, complete. I pray that my parents will be there to willingly give their only daughter to the man who will make her happy. And I want it to happen in front of God, who’ll bind us together, forever.